A Sad Joke

Good evening. It is with a heavy heart that I must announce the death of Toby the Fork. Toby has died. He was accidentally chopped up in a meat grinder, and his remains were spread out over the Pacific. However, infomercial guru and lippy albino Susan Powter was swimming along one day, and accidentally devoured bits of Toby. Due to ingesting Toby, who had magical powers (hey, a fork who can write), albino Powter grew to 60 times her normal size. Also, she became a sassy black woman.

Now a large African-American female quick with a quip, Ms. Powter immediately gave birth to five sons. Their names were Antoine, Antowain, Antawn, Antwahn, and Antw'ian. Tragically, all but Antw'ian were also killed in meat grinder accidents. Antw'ian, however, became a school cafeteria mogul. He developed a new, improved brand of tater tot that enabled him to take over the world.

And so he did. The world has been taken over by Antw'ian Powter. Henceforth, by law, I will have to include the words "dawg" and "homey" in every blog entry from here on out, in addition to the sentence, "Stop the insanity!" Everyone responding to blog entries must also include all of these keywords. Anyone failing to do so will be forced to watch the 1998 train wreck Black and White on a continuous loop until your brain explodes.

Ha ha ha ha. April Fools. Ha ha ha ha.

Whee.