Dennis Dialogue

Excerpts from Hurricane Dennis coverage from around the South:

Pensacola's statement: "Let's hope it goes west!"
Pensacola's inner thoughts: "Hit Mississippi! They have sex with dogs over there."

Mobile's statement: "Let's hope it goes east!"
Mobile's inner thoughts: "Maybe if there's no more Florida, the media will stop talking about Florida. Plus, we don't die. Everybody wins!"

Biloxi's statement: "Let's hope it drifts into Alabama, but if not, hopefully it goes west of us."
Biloxi's inner thoughts: "There sure are a lot of homosexuals in New Orleans. Would it really be such a bad thing? Mmm?"

New Orleans' statement: "Let's hope we get lucky again and it stays east of us."
New Orleans' inner thoughts: "Besides, I want to see how much damage can be done to Pensacola in one calendar year."

Pensacola's inner thought retort: "Screw you, New Orleans. You're a dump and your population is less educated than your average mosquito. Bite us."

New Orleans's inner thought retort: "Hey Pensacola, we got bare tits here."

Pensacola's inner thought retort: "Oh yeah. Good point! Okay, hopefully we get pummeled."

Weather Channel's statement: "What a tragedy, a terrible storm."
Weather Channel's inner thoughts: "Hot damn, it's the one time people are watching us. We'll all be household names before the weekend's out. Dr. Steve Lyons will finally get laid! Shoot, I wish there could be a Category 6."