Hi there. I'm Toby. You might know me from my fabulous website,
Tobyvision. We have a lot of laughs poking fun at society's mores on Tobyvision; but
there's nothing funny about what I'm here to discuss today.Nose porn.
That's right. While we here at Tobyvision oppose censorship in all its ugly forms, we must draw the line when protecting the innocence of noses. There is simply nothing erotic nor exciting about seeing exposed noses, put there on public display against their will. Look at the frightened, bewildered expressions on these noses for further proof of this.
"But Toby, noses are hot," is something Ned Barton, 46-year-old insurance salesman from Topeka, KS., might be heard to say. Ned is the leader of NAMNLA, or North American Man-Nose Love Association. We here at Tobyvision (and anyone who is anywhere near normal) understand how sick and depraved this group is. But Barton believes this disgusting, exploitative hobby has merit. And he's not alone. NAMNLA has added over 100,000 members in just this past year, and Barton insists that those numbers are only going to improve.
The time to draw the line is now. If you're out there reading this, and you feel like you want to hump a nose, you need serious psychiatric help. If not, please join us in our cause. We know you're probably busy with typical daily activities, such as smelling flowers, snorting cocaine, and driving yourself to the Ear, Nose & Throat doctor. But if you could just take a few minutes out of your day to help end this evil, you would be doing more good than you can ever imagine.
Noses are the most defenseless creatures out there. They are easily broken and have a lot of flimsy cartilage. One nose told me just the other day that it lives in fear every moment of its life, and this fear is only strengthened when nose predators are running free in society. Please, please, help us help them.
You'll never "nose" how much they appreciate it.