Wow. One year.One year ago today, a little web site came into existence. It was a site full of love, full of hope, and full of yeast excrement. That site was known as Tobyvision.
When I started this site, I had no idea how big it would get. My main goal was to spread a little joy and laughter. And maybe, just maybe, raise awareness of the plight faced by forks around the world. Little did I know this would only be the beginning.
I didn't know we'd be lauded by Dan Rather on national television as "a site even better than the website devoted to my crotch." I had no idea Geraldo Rivera would express a desire to hug me on his CNBC show, later actually hugging a fork as he signed off one evening. I had no idea I'd be on Letterman by March, and be publishing the first of three Tobyvision books in April. And I especially had no idea I would be propositioned by Angelina Jolie in late May, taking her back home to my apartment to an entire weekend of physical bliss.
In June, of course, we upgraded our site from "pink" to "green," which makes perfect sense if you understand trigonometry. Later in the summer, myself and the Tobyvision writers were asked to appear at the New York Museum of Natural History, although we later discovered they meant to invite several skeletons of prehistoric man instead. After we stood around for a few moments awkwardly smiling, we were politely asked to leave. We did so.
This setback began what Tobyvision's female voice, writer Miz Gleeson, has often called "the dark period" of Tobyvision. Erin descended into a life of drug addiction, while writer Steve Ruiz slipped into a world of alcohol and prostitution. As for myself, I was reduced to being used at soup kitchens in order to pick up a few bucks. It wasn't a satisfying time, and we all started to wonder if things would ever improve.
That's when Alexandra Morrison entered the picture. Alexandra, a dainty blonde with a heart of gold, came to the original Tobyvision founders with a web design program and a dream. "Let's spruce this place up," she said, as wide-eyed and innocent as Shirley Temple after a hanging. We hesitated at first, not from uneasy reluctance, but rather our lack of a will to live. But eventually, we were taken by Morrison's zest for life. We bought into the program, and the rest, as they say, is history.
Today Tobyvision thrives once again, renewed by the new "blue" and invigorated to the hilt. Last month I appeared on Will & Grace and was named Time Magazine's "Utensil of the Year". Things are looking up, as we've found a new generation of fans along with the old faithfuls anxious to give our site another look.
And what can we say, except thanks? Thanks to all of you who read our site; who give us a chance to make your day, well, a little brighter. Thanks to all of you who bought merchandise. Thanks for your kind words. And yes -- thanks for the love.
What's ahead in 2002? Who knows what it holds in store? It's hard to imagine it could possibly be as crazy as this past year. But if it's anything like our rollercoaster ride of 2001, I, for one, had better fasten my seat belt.